This is my homepage for all the stuff that is me. Who am I? I am DangerMouse. Want to know more about me? Click on said link at the left. If you're not interested, keep reading. I'll happily ramble for your amusement.

I know what you're thinking. Well, no, I don't actually, but I know what I'd be thinking if I were you, which I'm not, but that's just as well, since you're you and I'm me and we should probably keep it that way. What you may or may not be thinking are the questions, "Does this page have a purpose? Is this just another place on the web which money is thrown into for no other purpose than for the creator of this webpage to say, 'Yes. I have a URL. Here, let me write it down for you.'?" The answer to both questions is yes. Yes, this page has a purpose. Yes, I made it so I would have a URL that I could claim to own and write down for people.

The purpose of this webpage is a simple one. Over the years, I have made many webpages. Far too many. Most have gone to dust and faded into obsurity due to lack of updates/interest/motivation/etc. Some, I still actively update. Some have never been on the web before, just taking up space on my hard drive, half-finished dreams that I'll probably never finish at all. Regardless, these pages needed a place - a place to be cleanly linked, a place to be gawked at, a place where they could rest together so that all who see them know they are somehow interconnected from the inspriation of a single mind, a single mind that is often lazy with html, destests making things fancy, and fears anything that is not the most basic of basic. Old school, some may say. I'm okay with that.

So, feel free to browse the afformentioned links to your left. Go ahead and sign the guest book. Link me. Refresh this page often and watch the counter go up. Curse my use of frames. Fear me, if you like. Laugh at me, if you will.

In the immortal words of Arthur Dent, "It's just life."

In the immortal words of Marvin the Paranoid Android, "Life. Don't talk to me about life."

Enjoy my madness. Sit back, click away, and have a banana.

And thanks for stopping by.

Everything you never wanted to know and were not inclined to ask.

So, this is the part of this site about me. There's not much to tell, I'm afraid. Well, not much that's interesting, anyway.

I'm a girl. I'm twenty-three years old. I live in Austin, Texas. I write fanfiction. I write slash. I RP. I watch cartoons. I enjoy baseball. I'm a vegan. I have a dog named Oscar.. I also have a bird who is not named Oscar. My compuer is six years old and hasn't been upgraded in all that time. I'm a procrastinator. I'm a terrible leader. I often find myself in leadership positions regardless. I can't draw. I wear jeans most of the time. I have an old car. I work for Relay Texas.. I'm a slob. I'm very skinny. I'm a coke addict. That's Coca-Cola, not cocaine, btw. I'm a mediocre HTMLer. I like camping. I volunteer. I was a Girl Scout for 12 years. I'm an insomniac. I don't have cable. I have a lot of books. I don't read most of them. I was born in New York. Large crowds make me nervous. I fear the direction our country is headed in. I'm very opinionated. I'm not an activist, though. I want to win the lottery. I want to buy a chicken farm with my winnings. I wish I could have met Douglas Adams. I like Babylon 5. I read Yahoo! News every day. I'm fairly content with my lot in life. I would be happier if I was rich. I don't like working. I stutter when I'm nervous. I like wine. I like beer, too. I'm deathly afraid of horses. I read Harry Potter and I'm not ashamed of it. I do not want "X-Men: Evolution" to end. I don't get sick very often. I think deep thoughts, but I never know how to express them. I like insects. I don't use a beta reader. This page wasn't spell checked. I'm lazy. I listen to country music. I also listen to classic rock, alternative, and punk. I'm a person of varied interests with no specific talent to my name. I have no direction in my life. All in all, I'm happy.

And that's all she wrote.

These be the bug parts littering up the web.

I have bunches of webpages. Some of them are being updated, most of them are not. Yet, they are all collected here, just for you. Have a look around. It's not the best the web has to offer, but they keep me happy.

Pages that are finished and still being updated. Pretty nifty, huh?

Pages that are under construction. Expect broken links and a distinct lack of content. It's all good, though. They'll be finished soon enough. You can still look around them, though, if you want.

These pages have passed on! These pages are updated no more! They have ceased to be! They're expired and gone to meet their makers! They're still! Bereft of life! They rest in peace! If I hadn't stuck 'em up on this site, they'd be pushin' up daisies! The updating processes are now history! They're off the twig! They've kicked the bucket, they've shuffled off the mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible!!
THESE ARE EX-PAGES!

*ahem* But, you can still look at them, if ya' want. I'm too lazy to go in and change things on these pages, but note the following: They are NOT CHANGING. I am NOT ACCEPTING SUBMISSIONS! Do NOT LINK TO THESE PAGES! They are DEAD!

Frequently Not Asked Questions

This is where I answer some questions that are not frequenly asked, because honestly? Who really cares?

Why infinitemonkey.net?
Because infinite-monkey.net was already taken. By a blog, no less.

No, I meant, why "infinite monkey"?
I'm not sure, to be honest. I think it has something to do with my Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy obsession. There was this scene in the first book... oh, just go read it.

Why is this page red?
Because I already used Purple.

What is the answer to the Ultimate Question about Life, the Universe, and Everything?
42.

What's the question?
Beats me. It's probably imprinted on my brainwaves, though I'm sure it's highly distorted.

If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be?
My dog. He seems to have a good life.

Frames suck. Why are you using frames?
Eh. To annoy you. Actually, it's because I may change the navigation around and this is the easiest way to deal with it. I could get fancy, but that's just not me.

Why did you even bother making a F.N.A.Q?
Why did you bother reading it? To kill time, mostly.

You're a very strange person.
That's not a question, but thank you.

Because empty space and unused bandwith is boring..

Hosting other people's webpages is highly satisifying and requires very little effort on my part. No wonder I like doing it. No, don't ask me to host you. It doesn't work that way.