Second Chances

gI missed you.h

gYou couldnft have possibly.h

Itfs daytime and the sun in high in the sky which means that itfs probably about noon, and Johnfs stomach says yes, itfs lunch time and so he should not be standing here in the middle of a sidewalk in downtown Manhattan, but sitting in some cafe or some fast food joint and stuffing himself with yet another forgettable burger because this should be yet another forgettable day.

Only itfs not just another day, because he is standing on a sidewalk in Manhattan where he doesnft live and hefs talking to Bobby Drake whom he hasnft seen in two months and who he should not be talking to at all.

gWe all miss you, John. Why wonft you come back?h

gI donft belong there. Even when I was there I didnft fit. I never asked to be there in the first place,h a pause, and he wonders if maybe he should just turn around now and walk away. If he left now he wouldnft have to see those eyes. Eyes that were blue like ice and just as cold, even though they tried so hard to be warm. gI belong with Erik and the others. That whole saving the world and having everyone live happily ever after crap isnft me, Bobby.h

Though maybe at one time it could have been him. He could have been St. John Allerdyce, alias Pyro, loyal X-man and possible savior to the mutant race.

But things are different now. Now hefs with the Brotherhood of Mutants, and they arenft idealistic and insane and besides, they have a cooler name anyway, so what was the point to even trying to think that maybe if things had been different he might have stayed? He could have been out there as Pyro, fighting alongside Iceman and Wolverine and Cyclops and everyone else, trying to make the world a better place for both mutants and humans alike.

But things werenft the way they had been. Things were the way they were, and they couldnft go back to the way they had been. gHowfs Rogue?h

A shrug, the slight scuffle of a sneakered foot on the pavement, gShefs about the same. She misses you.h

But he knows that Bobby is lying about Rogue. Rogue doesnft miss him because Rogue had never cared about him in the first place. To her, all he had ever been was someone with whom she had to share Bobby. That was ok though; to him, she was just an obstacle. Somehow the Southern girl with the killer skin had stolen all the affection of Johnfs best friend.

Hefd tried to warn her on her fist day. He saw her making eyes at Bobby. So he made a fire ball at her. Bobby is my best friend. Stay away from him, or Ifll burn you. And then Bobby had frozen his fire and gave the girl a rose.

A goddamned ice rose.

gSo how does it feel, Bobby?h

g...Huh?h gI said, how does it feel? To know that you love someone who doesnft love you back? To know that the one person you want will always love someone else, no matter how much you want them to love you back?h Click. Snap. Hefd taken out his lighter without noticing; a habit hefd picked up quickly after his powers had manifested. It was only too natural to pull it out, click the cap off, snap it back on. Click, snap.

He did it m

ostly when nervous or agitated. Click. Snap. Itfs a different lighter than Bobby had been used to. His trusty Zippo with the sharkfs face had disappeared not long after hefd joined the Brotherhood. Erik had presented him with a new one the next day; shiny and silver with a cursive ePf engraved on one side. He didnft say anything when he gave it to him, but the message had been clear; You belong to me now. I will provide for you, and in return, you will fight my fight.

At least someone wanted him.

gI dunno what youfre talking about, Johnny.h

But John could smell the lie. Bobby knew exactly what he was talking about. The entire Institute had known about Roguefs unhealthy obsession with Logan, a man more than twice her age. She had picked Bobby because he was safe. He was her age, and he could do that little ice-thing that allowed them to kiss. And most important of all, Bobby was completely gone on her, which apparently was all they needed.

John was no stranger to unrequited affections. It was only fair that Bobby got a little of it, too.

Only Bobby actually got what he wanted. Bobby had his Rogue, in some form or another. John could never, would never have what he wanted.

Click. Fwoosh.

Just a small, normal flame. No powers behind it, no attempt to guide it or shape it or move it. It would be so easy to just...

gNo, I guess you wouldnft know, would you? You always were a smart boy, Bobby, but a little slow on the uptake. But maybe thatfs why she keeps you around, huh? Whatfs it take to get you off, huh, Bobby-boy? A flash of skin? A few of your special little ice-kisses? Do you touch each other with gloves on, always oh-so-careful not to touch skin?

"Or do you sit and touch yourselves, watching each other, wishing that you could touch? Ifll bet thatfs what you do, isnft it? Youfll both sit there half-naked, touching yourselves, and youfll try to keep your eyes on her pretty little breasts, never looking too far down because youfre too much of a gentleman, arenft you? And shefll twist her hips and pant and moan and maybe shefll even cry out your name when shefs coming, but itfs not you that shefs thinking of, is it? Because you arenft old enough, arenft hairy enough, and itfs never really satisfying for either of you, is it?h

The little flame pulses like it has a life of its own. So easy. So easy.

gShut up, Johnny. Itfs not like that. Rogue is... Rogue and I are...h

gAre what? In love? You donft know what love is, Bobby Drake. Love isnft stolen ice-kisses and the occasional clothed grope.h Fire. Beautiful, calming, soothing fire. So easy to just give it a little twitch... gShefs never going to love you like you want her to. You had your chance at love, and you ignored it. Tossed it aside for a pair of big green eyes and a body youfll never be able to really touch. Youfve lost your chances for love twice now, Bobby. Most people donft even get that much.h

So many people around them. Watching, listening as the pass. And John doesnft care, because theyfre just humans. Silly humans that donft matter at all and he could roast each and every one of them with a mere thought if he really wanted to.

Ice-blue eyes blinking, confused, gMagnetofs really warped your mind, hasnft he, Johnny? Youfre crazy. What do you mean, Ifve lost my chance? When? When was the second time? Hell, when was the first time?h

Click.

And he only smiles as he turns and walks away for the second time.

.:end:.

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